Towards the end of last year I had an amazing catch up with a long standing friend of mine, we regaled each other about all sorts of experiences we had gone through and lessons we learned from each one and one thing was apparent when it came to the topic of relationships, it was our unwillingness to compromise on love, even the idea of it. The feeling of elation at the mere thought of seeing your partner, engaging their minds, seeing things that remind you of them in your day to day running and please note dear cynics, that I am not referring to mere infatuation but the principle and emotion of love in action.

Walking away from this inspiring catch up with Kethabile, I proceeded to pray a very bold prayer to God saying, “God, you are my creator, you have created me to be the way that I am, to think the way that I think, to enjoy the things that I do, if you, who could create ex nihilo (Greek for out of nothing), if you could say ‘let there be light’ when there wasn’t and then there was, then SURELY, surely, you can create a female equivalent of me who can be compatible with me on a level pleasing even to you.” I then proceeded to list all the qualities I would like in her to the minutest specificity with the faith and knowledge that God is able ‘to do exceedingly, abundantly…’ I believe that if I exist, then surely so does her and that it is not up to me to look for her, but for God to bring her to me in the fullness of time.

So what do I do in the mean time? Because as cool as this all sounds, I am human, who is fallible and impatient? Well, I use this time to focus on self-development and growth in God, to remove the cobwebs to ancient questions like ‘who are you?” because ultimately, my relationship with my future partner will be comprised of two WHOLE people coming together to create a life together in God while still remaining fundamentally themselves.
Nothing is as attractive as finding someone whole and complete, able to be happy outside of you, someone living within their purpose. Mark Twain writes “There are two most important days in your life, the day you are born and the day you find out why” and it is nothing short of a travesty to be in a relationship with someone who has not found out why they exist and how they plan on fulfilling their purpose, someone with an EXISTING relationship with God. One pastor once said “The problem with how we formulate relationships these days is that we say yes until God says no, instead of saying no until God says yes”, we often don’t involve God until the fit hits the shan and then have the temerity to be angry at him when things don’t go well forgetting that we never allowed him to be God in the first place. Allow me to be bold and say, I believe you have no right to be looking for a partner when you have not found yourself; it is gauche to look for happiness in another person outside of God.

In conclusion, this is a piece of encouragement from my personal experience, that we should not LOOK for partners, but pray for them and wait on God to deliver, even the wait should be incidental and not deliberate because you would be living your life, content in your identity in God because this in itself is a never ending journey full of challenges and victories. I have learnt a lot from my past failures in relationships and I am thankful because each experience has aided in strengthening my character, aided in providing clarity around what I want and what I definitely don’t want in a relationship. So don’t compromise, if you truly believe that you serve a living God then claim the promise found in Mark 11:24.

By Donald Neosapien Mokgale.


  1. Luthando Madonsela

    This, by far, has to be the most powerful piece I’ve read in a long time. Above all, it came at the right time. So much truth lies within these words and I couldn’t be more blessed, reassured more importantly awakened at this very moment as I pray to be whole in Christ to be what I’m destined to be- be more like Him- complete. .

    Thank you once again

    • Oh wow! God be praised for it all! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply, your feedback is appreciated.

  2. Wow thank you for the words of encouragement

  3. Obakeng "Sean Tailor" Senosi

    True and relevant. This is immensely encouraging really some introspective material…which reminds me of this Matt.6:33

  4. Well written and so profound! God has perfect timing, never early and never late.. you must be a little more patient and he will bring the right partner at the right time.

  5. Tishies

    “Unwillingness to compromise on love”. Its simple, if you feel as though it’s not right and it is not fulfilling then leave it or never enter into it in the first place.

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